EMERGENCY HYGIENE ON THE ROAD

 No plan(s) can adequately prepare for all conceivable situations.  
 There are occasions -- like this morning -- where you need to go 
 straight from, say, a red-eye flight to long-term parking, and 
 thence to the office.  Under such conditions, travel grit and 
 grime just won't cut it.
 
 Four things are required -- private access to (warm(?)) water, a 
 cleansing agent, a hair-grooming device, some absorbent material(s).
 Six or seven would be optimal -- an oral-hygiene device, possibly 
 a deodorant or shaving implement -- but, in a pinch, four will 
 suffice.
 
 A hotel (such as the long-term parking facility aforementioned) 
 is the first venue to try.  Towels are omnipresent:  housekeeping 
 carts, laundry facilities, on-premise pools, even the kitchen and/
 or vacant room(s).  It's worth noting that you don't actually need 
 to be a GUEST at the hotel in question -- carrying a suitcase or 
 laptop-bag will fend off questions for at least the breakfast hour.  
 Your private gym or workplace exercise-room might fill the bill.  
 A local dollar store will carry something satisfactory as well 
 (though, if you stop to make a shopping detour, you might as well 
 buy everything there, and that sorta works at cross-purposes to 
 this scavenger hunt).
 
 Showers can be tricky.  Ideally, your office will have one 
 adjoining a restroom for joggers and/or gym-goers.  The hotel pool 
 is a (distant) secondary possibility.  (Holiday Inns have pool 
 showers, as do a few rival chains.)  For bold interlopers, certain 
 workplaces (even those at which you do not belong) have semi-
 publicly-accessible exercise facilities, including showers.  I am 
 not quite brazen enough to duck into a vacant hotel room to use its 
 bathtub, though I might shut myself in the handicapped restroom to 
 take an impromptu sponge-bath if push came to shove.  (This would 
 be my last choice.)  If you didn't manage to score a towel 
 previously, you're down to paper towels.  Use the thick quilted 
 ones, rather than restaurant napkins, if available.
 
 Soap.  Do I have to say it?  Unless you pack/carry some with you, 
 the hand-stuff at the sink is pretty much your only option.  Dump 
 ten or twenty squirts into a cup from the water-cooler.  It will 
 even double as shampoo, though you should only expose your hair to 
 such goop once in a great while, if ever.
 
 The most difficult item, paradoxically, is not the soap or the 
 water or the towel, but, rather, the hair-care implement.  Prior 
 unpleasant experience suggests that, if a comb or brush cannot be 
 summoned to hand (say, from a hotel courtesy counter), a plastic 
 fork (or spork) will serve.  It takes longer, but will make you 
 generally... presentable.
 
 And that's all there is to it.  Hand soap, paper towels, plastic 
 forks, a borrowed faucet.  For future endeavors, you can plan ahead;  
 I pack a comb, a toothbrush, and (sometimes) a disposable razor 
 with my laptop for such situations, and those will generally get me 
 through a four- or six-hour emergency stretch.  Is it worth 
 actually putting a toiletry kit in the car?  Or an electric shaver 
 in the office?  Possibly.  I'll have to mull that over.