Weekly World Spew

Robert Wagner Predicts Soon There Will Be No Cheese On the Moon.

At the movies:

Attention Low Budget Movie Fans!

SEE the TERRIFYING New Feature *** Brain Eating Wedge Rats from the Valley of Fear ***

Featured on a Double Bill with the Blood-Chilling

*** Empire of the Communist Gerbils ***

Guaranteed to Terrify and Amaze!

Introducing this week's page five girl: Patcheree. She's from New Cheingway, Ethiopia. You may have seen her on shows like Baywatch and Beverly Hills 90210. The bubbly, sleek Z-Cup Moptop plans to debug Windows 95.

Spewly World News

The actual Weekly World News