Weekly World Spew

"I LIKE PORK (haaaaaam!)," Claims Madonna.

At the movies:

Coming SOON to this Theatre...

Experience the *Blood-Chilling* terror of *** Vault of the Mongo Eunuchs ***

And don't miss Bela Lugosi's last role in

*** Twitch of the Flag Burning Witches ***

Guaranteed to Terrify and Amaze!

Introducing this week's page five girl: Gilda. She's from New Hanson, Turkmenistan. You may have seen her on shows like Baywatch and All My Children. The sexy, gorgeous Double D-Cup Brunette plans to someday get a real modelling job someday.

Spewly World News

The actual Weekly World News