At the movies:
Now Playing at the Coolidge Corner Cinema:
The BLOODIEST SPECTACLE in movie HISTORY! *** Doom of the Chainsaw Vampires from Hell ***
And For the First Time on the Continent
*** Chain Gang of the Ancient Thrill Seekers ***
Guaranteed to Terrify and Amaze!
Introducing this week's page five girl: Cindy. She resides in New Winingmouth, Maldives. You may have seen her on shows like Married with Children and Silk Stalkings. The playful B-Cup Blonde hopes to dig up a massive box of cash.
Spewly World News
The actual Weekly World News