Newsgroups: gweepnet.yarn
Path: hotblack!mute
From: mute@hotblack.gweep.net (Josh Brandt)
Subject: Re: Okay, who put him up to this?
Message-ID: 
Organization: GweepCo Cooperative Network - Worcester, Massachusetts, USA
References:    
Date: Sun, 4 Sep 1994 18:12:28 GMT

In article ,
Tom Russell  wrote:
>
>  And then we went to commercial.  When we got back....

Joey slumped even lower in his seat. "Geez, Gramps, are you high
or what?" 

"Now Joey," said Gramps, leaning forward until his withered face was mere
inches from Joey's. Foul pickle-scented breath wafted over Joey, who coughed
and tried not to inhale. "Now Joey," he began again, "you know I've got to
tell you these stories so you can grow up nice and strong and know the ways
of the world, like yer old grampa, here." 

"Uh huh." Joey was unconvinced. "But..."

"And Joey, boy, now, y'know, knowing what to do when James Burke begins
filming a documentary in and around your own personal life is all part of
knowing how to be a MAN! Yes, I tell you, if I hadn't've been there, knowing
exactly what to do to save us from the diabolical menace, I have no idea how
things would've turned out." The old man was sitting on the very edge of his
seat now, flailing his arms and drooling slightly. Joey's glasses were soon
spattered with flecks of spittle from the geriatric loon's tirade. "I leapt
up as soon as I saw him and let fly with the .44 auto mag I always carried
back then, and I dropped that Limey son of a--"

"Gramps! Shut up already! I know full well that was the day you mistook
Sissy's birth control pills for your heart medicine and took 8 of them! You
nearly pasted poor Mr. Smithers the mailman! It's a good thing there was
some heart medicine left over, or you'd be in jail now..." Joey shook his
head helplessly. "Gramps, you're just way too bent to listen to right now.
I'm going out to play."

"But Joey," the old man shouted after him, "don't you want to hear how I
single-handedly defeated the... Oh bother. Young'uns these days, I tell
you," he said to himself. "They just got no respect at all."

Outside, Joey hopped on his bike and pedalled off to the park, where he was
hailed by Bobby "Tubs" Smithers, son of the aforementioned mailman, and
Wesley "Gates" McFadden, so named for his propensity for crashing headlong
into said objects. 

"Yo, Joe-ster!" called Tubs. "Come check out this thing we found!"

"Yeah, man," added Gates, "it's way cool."

"What is it?" asked Joey, cycling up to where they waited. 

"I have no idea," said Tubs, "but it does the coolest things..."
-- 
  Sweet ghost of light, I've lived too long    Robyn
             I die for you inside this song    Hitchcock
                                               mute@hotblack.gweep.net


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