Yo Dude,

        What's happening? I'm so glad you picked me to play on the avant-
     guard ballad.  I mean, let's be honest, I'm definitely an "out" player
     (last week's session not withstanding;self-induced "outing" due to a
     diminshed scale overdose), so the avant part fits the bill.  AND, we
     all know who is the reigning king of ballads, so I don't need to say
     anything else.  I mean, that's all I play on anyway, so it shouldn't
     be a problem.  I mean, I love ballads...I mean...I'm...Um.... the....
     best.....Frocky!  FROCKY!  I'M THE BEST!!!!! RAKIN'!!!! FROCKETY
     FROCKY!!!!! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!  I think you would say something
     like....aw gahd.....or something like that.  Anyway, now that I've
     expressed my true feelings on the topic, I would be happy to partake
     in the ruining of your mqp.  My address is:
     Mr. Andrew N. White III(a.k.a. Super Soul Master Ballad Extrodinaire)
        1204 Franklin Crossing
        Franklin, MA 02038

     Frankly, I don't even know why you're bothering to send me the music.
     I mean, I'm sure I could just come in, learn the head after listening
     to you do one pathetic read-through, and I KNOW I could definitely
     hear the dull, lackluster chord progression you put together
     instantly.  But, I bet Rich wanted you to send out the music to
     everyone else, so you just figured that you'd send it to me while you
     were at it.  Yeah, I know how it is......

     Anyway, I can do Tuesday, March 18th at 9:00.  Just send me one more
     reminder when that date is definite.  And, I just picked up my food
     stamps for the month, so I can probably make due without the cash.
     However, you may want to position me away from the other musicians, as
     my water has been turned off, and I haven't showered for approxiately
     1 year.  Other than that minor issue, we should be all set. Send me
     some mail back and let me know what's up for this weekend.

     Andre N. White III